Like a Late-night Train Ride

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MIXTAPE MAY 1-31.2011

Like a Late-night Train Ride by dardenitaaa

How the month of May happened to me in fragments: I painted my toenails red. I procrastinated way too much. I splurged on summer dresses and immediately regretted it because I should’ve spent it on books. I overslept. I wrote really short poems. I wanted to watch sappy romantic flicks but changed my mind before I downloaded anything. I thanked God for the heavy rainfall. I came back to school to have my graduation picture taken. I missed all my friends. And I tried—to reconnect, to fight the gaps and to feel like everything mattered again. I really did. Above all, I listened—to hearsay, to 6 o’clock news, to sobs, to thunder, to my own pulse, to music that made me feel strangely surreal and infinite. Perhaps that’s why May has been like a late-night train ride in so many ways—tiring, pensive, quiet. And no matter how pretty the blurry metro lights are from my moving window, there’s always that oddly alarming and all the while comforting solace in being alone in a thick sea of strangers; like I’m lost in nowhere, but I feel like I’m almost home. 

10. After Glow, Vanessa Carlton

Watch the sun it paints an orange sky
Lay me down and feel the days gone by

Just when the days
Just when the days
Just when the days start getting longer
I walk the streets I never knew
The sun comes out for you

09. Colors, Amos Lee

Your mama called, she said,
that you’re downstairs crying.
Feeling like such a mess.
Yeah, I hear you,
in the back ground balling.
What happened to your sweet summer time dress?

I know we all, we all got our faults.
We get locked in our vaults,
and we stay

08. Your arms around me, Jens Lenkman

I was slicing up an avocado
When you came up behind me
With your silent brand new sneakers
Your reflection I did not see

It was the hottest day in August
And we were heading for the sea
For a second my mind started drifting

07. Clockwise witness, Devotchka

In this moment
of atonement
can you ever forgive me?
Is there something hovering?
It seems to be governing
everything once dear to me

06. Scenic World, Beirut

The lights go on
the lights go off
when things don’t feel right
I lie down like a tired dog
licking his wounds in the shade

when I feel alive
I try to immagine a careless life
a scenic world where the sunsets are all
breathtaking

05. David, The Radio Department

Asleep for twenty years with this feeling
but I was on your side
and he’s spent some 20 years with this feeling
of being lost inside
he was lost inside
of his mind
Just like I’ve been holding on for all our lives
all our lives

04. Modern Love, Bloc Party

To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
You’ve been trying to reach me
You bought me a book
To be lost in the forest
To be cut adrift
I’ve been paid
I’ve been paid

03. Tonight we fly, The Divine Comedy

Tonight we fly
Over the houses, the streets and the trees –
Over the dogs down below;
They’ll bark at our shadows
As we float by on the breeze.
Tonight we fly
Over the chimney tops, skylights and slates –
Looking into all your lives
And wondering why
Happiness is so hard to find.

02. Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

01. Slow Burn, Hannah Fairchild

We meet for trouble, not fair dealings
Drawn blinds and choke chain freedom
You turn my prison on its head
I kick the rafters, I pace the ceiling
You speak in sugar and in splinters
But when it’s late and your wit is chafing
When you start running out of clever
Suddenly I’m a handmade angel
But you leave no space beneath my spine
No room for wings
I started this, wanted to see when the world ends
Then what happens?
Stretch yourself out before me
Show the way my footsteps should go
Lead me round in circles
Tie your life to my heels, won’t you?
You’ve got me dancing in the corner
Down where the monsters wear the crowns
And I’d do anything, twisting,
Spinning til my shoes wear out
You’re gonna keep me dizzy til the music stops
Gotta get out quick before the doors lock
I started this, wanted to see when the world ends
Then what happens?
You just can’t help yourself, can you?
You’re climbing up and over the barbed wire again
But you know you’re in no danger
You see where I am, so you know where I’ve been
Why don’t you slum a little farther
Just south of where the safety ends
Set me a fine example
Clean collar, soft hands
And see me shimmer like I’m something better
Shining like I’m some kind of prize
Delicate and precious and lemon sweet
Blank and empty…
Send me
Tell me I was accidental
Tell me how lucky you are
You’re telling me there’s nothing better I can be
Than right where you can find me when you need me –
Which you will.

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